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Welcome to the third and final part of the Making the Online Dating Plunge series. Check back here and here for part one and two, which talk about making a profile and messaging.

The Dates

Again- I think the thing that made online dating so fun and successful for me was going into it without certain expectations. I just wanted to have a good time and a good conversation and get dressed up sometimes. I think that helped a lot when it came to setting up dates and not being afraid to just go for it. But, that’s not to say that I didn’t get REALLY FRICKIN NERVOUS every time.

I get so nervous before dates that I usually can’t eat anything when we’re out. Or I’m talking so much that I take only 4 bites over an hour. This is why I always like to meet up for a beer or happy hour. I can eat before I leave and not worry about having a drink on an empty stomach because I lost my appetite to nerves.

Once the date gets going, I become myself again. I love talking to people (especially about myself) so it’s always a good time. The guys were usually cool because I had been messaging them and got a feel for who they were a little bit.

I only have a few tips for going on dates:

1. Meet in a public place.

Don’t have them pick you up- always be in control of when and how you can leave in case the night is a disaster. But even if it is, it’ll be a good story for your friends!

2. Be yourself. Duh.

Oldest trick in the book. Same goes for how you dress- wear something comfortable that makes you feel confident. And remember, you have nothing to lose- might as well be upfront and let your freak flag fly. You’ll only know that they’re into the real you sooner rather than later.

3. Remember that this is about having fun- not putting yourself to some kind of test or torture.

For all you know, this could be the last date you ever have. Have fun as a single lady a la Beyonce while you still can.

4. Don’t do anything that you don’t absolutely want to do.

You don’t have to kiss them or stay any longer than you want!

I only had one bad date. It started out fine, and we talked for a long time even though I knew there was no chemistry- I was just having fun. Well, he got too drunk and went in for a kiss that I had to dodge- wait for it- THREE TIMES. It was like the Matrix you guys. I was swerving all over the place.

Other than that, I always had a good night. I’m sure it also depends on your city and other factors but give it a shot if you’re done trying to have something romantically interesting happen at a bar or club every weekend. In a way, it’s nice to take control of that kind of thing.

What tips do you other online daters have? Please share any hilarious, embarrassing or cute stories we should all know about.

2 Comments on Making the Online Dating Plunge: Confessions of an Ex-OkCupider (Part 3)

  1. Nina
    March 20, 2014 at 2:18 pm (4 years ago)

    I get SO nervous before dates too. And I’m afraid to try Ok Cupid because I’ve heard some crazy stories…like your matrix ones. But you make a lot of good points. Most of your dates were good/fun/not the worst moments of your life. LOL

    • Stephanie
      March 20, 2014 at 3:02 pm (4 years ago)

      Haha Nina, true. I definitely had a really good time 95% of the time. I always recommend just giving it a shot, going on one or two dates, and if you hate it, then delete your profile and move on. If it’s something that intrigues you, go for it! You’ve got nothing to lose. If anything you’ll come away with some funny stories to tell your friends. Every girls night could use some new material. :)
      Let me know if you have any questions and I’d be happy to share more of my experience.


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